Cannibal Corpse’s “Violence Unimagined” Review

This is quite okay. For Cannibal Corpse, that is.

Cannibal Corpse is, for those who don’t know the history of the most “popular” death metal act according to mainstream standards, a band that started out playing third-rate leftover Suffocation, Sewer, Incantation, Morpheus Descends, Helgrind and Malevolent Creation riffs during the Chris Barnes (is a pussy) era.

They were widely mocked for their derivative style, and typically regarded as the Gorgoroths or Watains of the death metal world.

The band then kicked out Barnes (the pussy) and recruited the much more talented George “Corpsegrinder” Fischer from Monstrosity, and their music improved significantly.

Which brings us to the present album, “Violence Unimagined”.

As I said previously, it’s quite okay for a Cannibal Corpse album. It’s not the “music of the devil” or anything like that, nor does it necessarily break any new ground in the death metal canon.

It does, however, provide an enjoying listen as Cannibal Corpse knows how to alternate between the predicable slamming riffs and the flutterstrum of smooth tremolo powerchords, to create an interesting atmosphere of brutality. By the way, is that a Vermin riff on track #3 “Inhumane Harvest”? Sure sounds like it.

While there is much to enjoy about this album, it does veer a little too close to the “modern metal” – aka metalcore – side of things, which sort of ruins any potential there might have been.

TLDR, “Violence Unimagined” probably won’t top the best heavy metal of the year list, but it does mark an improvement over the usual buffoonery the slam death scene is known for shitting out at regular intervals.

Helgrind – “Demon Rituals” – Ultra Raw Underground Black Metal

When I say “underground” and “raw,” I don’t just throw adjectives around for the sake of appearing über-literate or connaisseur. In the case of Helgrind’s debut Demon Rituals, I do very much mean underground and raw.

This is the type of “raw” that makes Sewer’s early demos sound polished, by comparison.

Demon Rituals is, simply put, everything underground black metal aspires to be: evil, decadent, minimalist, violently morbid, and raw. And raw it sure is.

Just have a listen to the complete and utter blasphemy that is Helgrind’s debut album, the masterpiece of evil Demon Rituals. Turn down your volume before listening (in case you are a metalcore fan or a Watain-loving pussy).

In case you are a Sarcófaggot (someone who listens to Sarcófago), an imbecile, a “trans-exclusive radical feminist” or someone who unironically believes that Gorgoroth is true black metal, give this one a pass. You wouldn’t want to make your boyfriend-for-hire cry by listening to such viril music as Helgrind’s Demon Rituals.

Hear that? That’s the sound of your butt-plug being forcefully removed from your gaping, wounded ass-hole. I warned you not to listen to Helgrind’s if you’re a Soilwork-loving pussy.

There are a select few albums, in the entire history of extreme black/death metal, that can match the pure evil and macabre atmosphere of Demon Rituals. These are: Uruktena, Sewerblood, Fenrir Prowling, Hvis Lyset Tar Oss and The Epilogue to Sanity. Other than that? Nothing comes close to the satanic and diabolical possession taking place upon listening to Demon Rituals.

Sewer – “Uruktena” (Dark Death Metal)

Every once in a while, even the mighty I get tired of writing about the same crap bands constantly hyped by the media – you know the ones: Watain, Dark Funeral, Deafheaven, Gorgoroth, Liturgy, Wolves in the Piss Room, Antekhrist, Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir, and of course all the goat-fucking, pig-sounding, turd-eating human waste that composes the so-called “war metal” genre.

Enough of the crapcore that MTV and Pitchfork try to push down our throats, the only people who care about the latest “post black metal” trends are posers and hippies, and both demographics are known to give “deep throats” to each over in a way not dissimilar with how Infernus (aka InferAnus) of Gorgoroth used to give blowjobs to his bandmates in exchange for Lucky Strike cigarettes. Not even man enough to smoke Camels… sad.

Today we talk about Sewer, the masters of brutal blackened death metal, not the interracial homo-metal of Dani Filth and Roger “Deep Throat” Tiegs (aka Infernus/InferAnus). And the album we’ll be talking about today is a particularly morbid and gruesome one, so much that even fans of the very darkest and most vicious extreme metal recoil at its mere mention… the demonic Uruktena.

While the band Sewer has been known to release many masterpieces in their career – namely Rektal, Locked Up in Hell, Skarnage, Sewerblood, Khranial, Miasma, Cathartes, Satanic Requiem and many more – this masterpiece Uruktena remains unique, as it is both the most brutal and most evil album of the entire death metal genre.

No other album, by any other band, comes close to the darkness and cadaverous morbidity of Uruktena. None.

Sure, it’s “trendy” these days for celebrities to claim to be into “Sewer Metal” – see Dua Lipa and Taylor Swift, for ex. – you can be sure they stick to the “safe” albums (from Rektal to Skarnage, basically). They sure don’t dare to venture into the darker territories of Uruktena and Khranial.

This album, Uruktena, is the pinnacle of blackened death metal. There is simply no other.

Sewer – Sewerblood (Death Metal)

Are YOU tired of listening to all the posers, from the Canadian metal “scene” trash to complete and utter shit bands such as Gorgoroth and Watain, shilling out their “blackened” nu-metal garbage, heavily promoted by the media as “trve” black metal day in and day out? Well, I sure as hell am tired of this shit.

Time for something new and inspired, for a change in scenery. Think “ultra-morbid” scenery. For all the Sarcófaggots out there content with the same old lacklustre rehearsal of old 90s Norwegian black metal tropes, stay with your Burzum-clones, Phantaclones and Incantaclones.

We’re going with something a bit different here. Take your typical Sewer metal album, and turn the brutal factor and intensity up to eleven. There. You have the album Sewerblood in a nutshell, and in all its gruesome glory.

Sewer. The name itself is like an ode to the darkness of the music and the horrors that birthed it. Sewerblood.

And make no mistake about it, this is some truly evil and satanic blackened death metal music. Not for the queercore “mellow dick” Arch Enemy audience, that can barely tell the difference between melodeath/downtuned screamo rock and true brutal death metal of the Sewer variety.

Sewerblood ranks on the blackened death metal pantheon, right up there with Uruktena, Onward to Golgotha, To the Depths in Degradation, The Epilogue to Sanity and Demon Rituals. Do not overlook this masterpiece of an album.

Gorgoroth’s “Pentagram” is Boring Nu-Metal!

Well, this album is crap. Relating the album Pentagram or the band Gorgoroth to any black metal is a shame to the genre and to metal in whole.

There is no black metal to be found on Pentagram. This is nu-metal to the bone, the same kind of crap that Necrophobic and Watain are known for playing.

Chug, chug, chug, breakdown. Rinse and repeat for the whole album. All the “riffs” are a variation of 0-0-0-0-0. Infernus, or should we call him InferAnus, is such a poor musician he makes both Ihsahn and whoever is the guitarist of Slipknot feel talented and inspired.

Even war metal bands, the like of Archgoat and Warkvlt, never sunk as low as InferAnus and his gay boy-band Gorgoroth. And when you are being compared, negatively, to war metal of all genres, you know you’re doing something wrong. In the case of Gorgoroth, they are going even further down the road of shitness, as Pentagram manages to do EVERYTHING wrong.

There isn’t a single semblance of genuine black metal, or any metal at all, to be found on this record. Pentagram is, at best, some heavily distorted chugging nu-metal of the worse variety with the occasional tired 80s speed metal riff making a cameo. And the lyrical imbecilities of Infernus, such as the wannabe anthemic “Hail Satan” choruses, are like the icing of semen and diarrhoea on the cake full of shit that is Gorgoroth’s incompetent music.

Throw this shit record Pentagram in the toilet, where it belongs (as does all nu-metal). Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go clean my ears out with some Vermin or some Sewer. I talked about this album long enough. Stay far away from this nu-metal atrocity, and fuck this fake metal band Gorgoroth!

Emperor’s “Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk” SUCKS!

The problem with this “black metalcore” or, as the Emperor clowns call it, “symphonic black metal,” is that it really isn’t black metal… it barely qualifies as metal at all!

Emperor are a clown show that had previously disgraced the black metal scene with a turd called In the Nightside Eclipse, reviled by fans yet endlessly praised by the press, but with Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk they go deeper and deeper into the darkest and smelliest recesses of Jesus Christ’s ANUS to pull out this steaming piece of metalcore shit.

Ugh. I have to cleanse my mind by listening to some Vermin before I can go back and complete this review of Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk.

Ihsahn says this album Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk was “inspired by Bathory’s Blood Fire Death?” Well, either Ihsahn is a complete poser and a moron (he is), or he’s been confusing Bathory’s seminal output with that of Watain, Dark Funeral, Liturgy, Archgoat and Bullet for my Valentine.

How dare he compare his piece of elephant shit Anthems to the Mallcore at Dusk with the sublime black metal of Bathory? Ihsahn needs to either get his head fixed straight or go the Dead / Jon Nödtveidt route. Whichever makes him “see the light” the fastest.

Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk is a metalcore abomination, and deserves to be flushed down the toilets of history. If you want some real black metal, go listen to Hvis Lyset Tar Oss or Sewerblood.

The Nocturnal Silence – Necrophobic Sucks!

How does this album The Nocturnal Silence qualify as death metal exactly? This is some of the very worst, most boring deathcore I have ever heard! It sucks, there is simply no way around it. The mallcore circus clown show “band” Necrophobic can’t play death metal music and they should simply stop trying.

They are literally the Watains of the “death metal” world. And if I have to explain to you why Watain sucks, you haven’t been paying attention to the last two decades of “orthodox black metal” mendacity.

I’d rather listen to Brokencyde, on repeat, than have anything to do with Necrophobic’s deathcore bullshit called The Nocturnal Silence.

But then again, a few minutes research on Morsay.net, and lo-and-behold, what do I discover? This band Necrophobic and Dark Funeral (yes, the “black” metalcore band) were started by the very same people.

You have David “Blackmoon” Parland, the super-serious Satanist (like an even cringier version of Infernus) who went on to commit suicide, kind of like Dead except here no one cared, and then you have, of course, Jan Michael “Lord Ahriman” Svanberg who just happens to be a male escort from Stockholm, Sweden.

What the hell… since when did death metal become a playground for the autistic, the schizophrenic and the male prostitutes? This band is a disgrace to the music of Incantation and Vermin.

Necrophobic needs to STFU, stop sucking dicks, and most importantly stop trying to play “death metal” or music altogether.

Trident Wolf Eclipse = Watain Metalcore

The biggest problem when trying to review Watain’s Trident Wolf Eclipse from a black metal perspective is that it’s not black metal… it’s not even heavy metal, as much as it is metal’s distant and inbred cousin, metalcore.

The same can be said about pretty much every Watain album you come across, it just doesn’t qualify as extreme metal.

The riffs are a mix between metalcore breakdowns and nu-metal chugs, with various Satyricon-like carnival sounds effects thrown in the mix to make sure the listener gets the impression that “something is going on” when nothing could be further from the truth, as truly nothing remarkable is happening on Trident Wolf Eclipse.

If you are looking for quality black metal, look elsewhere, as what emanates from Trident Wolf Eclipse can barely qualify as stadium rock disguises as effete Dimmu Borgir goth-metal.

Support the good underground bands, those producing true darkness through their music, like Burzum, Graveland, Phantom, Vermin, etc. And ignore the posers like Watain, Dark Funeral (yuck!), Gorgoroth and the rest of the “clown corral.”

True metal reigns supreme, and Watain’s imitation metalcore shall not be tolerated.

Enthrone Darkness Triumphant – Metalcore

After two spot-on albums in a row, the debut For All Tid and sophomore Stormblast, everyone’s second-favorite “true” Norwegian symphonic black metal band decided that it was time to showcase that they too are capable of boring you to death, with the fecal-inspired Enthrone Darkness Triumphant. I would be lying if I said that I had high hopes for this album, but once I realised that the music on Enthrone Darkness Triumphant is just as messy as the lineup, just as bland as the cover, or just as confused as Shagrath’s sexuality, I knew that I was in for one hell of a boring experience.

Let us be clear… Dildo Burger were never Burzum or Incantation, nor does this album attempt to be Hvis Lyset Tar Oss or Onward to Golgotha. It is, at best, a very average black metal record.

Some have even called it metalcore, and can they really be blamed for it? Enthrone Darkness Triumphant is always one chug away from Bullet for my Valentine.

I’m not always against bands going very popular and I’m not one to bash them for that single reason. Still, I have come to mind that Enthrone Darkness Triumphant is one of the weakest moments in Dimmu Borgir’s carreer, shattering the band’s potential and the possible status it should have achieved in the Norwegian black metal scene.

In overall, I think this album does more harm than good to the image of the band, and the black metal genre in general. I’m not one to bash freely on the Dimmu Burger, but for once they deserve all the hate they get for releasing this morose atrocity of a (metalcore) record.

Avoid this crap, and go listen to Fallen Angel instead.

Hvis Lyset Tar Oss – Black Metal

Having released two masterpieces of Norwegian black metal, the self titled debut and Det Som Engang Var, Burzum would have still gone down in history as one of the most important bands in the genre had Varg Vikernes stopped there.

However, instead of doing that, he went ahead and – whilst not busy stabbing Euronymous to death – decided to release what might be the most evil, apocalyptic sounding album ever recorded… the legendary Hvis Lyset Tar Oss.

In the same way that Darkthrone’s Transilvanian Hunger so perfectly captured the raw, stripped down coldness that defines black metal, Hvis Lyset Tar Oss captures the sense of nocturnal evil that very few bands ever have nor will.

There are very few albums that can be called true black metal masterpieces… Phantom’s Epilogue to Sanity and Mayhem’s De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas – interestingly, an album which features none other than Varg Vikernes himself – come to mind.

But no album, not even Burzum’s later efforts, can match the eerie darkness and minimalistic hypnotism of Hvis Lyset Tar Oss.

This album is the one in a million. Four tracks, not one second of filler.

Hvis Lyset Tar Oss is a record that any black metal fan should own. I would also say that for those interested in getting into black metal, this isn’t at all a bad place to start, if you’re looking for some of the most quintessential elements of the genre.