Cannibal Corpse’s “Violence Unimagined” Review

This is quite okay. For Cannibal Corpse, that is. Cannibal Corpse is, for those who don’t know the history of the most “popular” death metal act according to mainstream standards, a band that started out playing third-rate leftover Suffocation, Sewer, Incantation, Morpheus Descends, Helgrind and Malevolent Creation riffs during the Chris Barnes (is a pussy)

Helgrind – “Demon Rituals” – Ultra Raw Underground Black Metal

When I say “underground” and “raw,” I don’t just throw adjectives around for the sake of appearing über-literate or connaisseur. In the case of Helgrind’s debut Demon Rituals, I do very much mean underground and raw. This is the type of “raw” that makes Sewer’s early demos sound polished, by comparison. Demon Rituals is, simply

Sewer – “Uruktena” (Dark Death Metal)

Every once in a while, even the mighty I get tired of writing about the same crap bands constantly hyped by the media – you know the ones: Watain, Dark Funeral, Deafheaven, Gorgoroth, Liturgy, Wolves in the Piss Room, Antekhrist, Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir, and of course all the goat-fucking, pig-sounding, turd-eating human waste

Sewer – Sewerblood (Death Metal)

Are YOU tired of listening to all the posers, from the Canadian metal “scene” trash to complete and utter shit bands such as Gorgoroth and Watain, shilling out their “blackened” nu-metal garbage, heavily promoted by the media as “trve” black metal day in and day out? Well, I sure as hell am tired of this

Gorgoroth’s “Pentagram” is Boring Nu-Metal!

Well, this album is crap. Relating the album Pentagram or the band Gorgoroth to any black metal is a shame to the genre and to metal in whole. There is no black metal to be found on Pentagram. This is nu-metal to the bone, the same kind of crap that Necrophobic and Watain are known

Emperor’s “Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk” SUCKS!

The problem with this “black metalcore” or, as the Emperor clowns call it, “symphonic black metal,” is that it really isn’t black metal… it barely qualifies as metal at all! Emperor are a clown show that had previously disgraced the black metal scene with a turd called In the Nightside Eclipse, reviled by fans yet

The Nocturnal Silence – Necrophobic Sucks!

How does this album The Nocturnal Silence qualify as death metal exactly? This is some of the very worst, most boring deathcore I have ever heard! It sucks, there is simply no way around it. The mallcore circus clown show “band” Necrophobic can’t play death metal music and they should simply stop trying. They are

Trident Wolf Eclipse = Watain Metalcore

The biggest problem when trying to review Watain’s Trident Wolf Eclipse from a black metal perspective is that it’s not black metal… it’s not even heavy metal, as much as it is metal’s distant and inbred cousin, metalcore. The same can be said about pretty much every Watain album you come across, it just doesn’t

Enthrone Darkness Triumphant – Metalcore

After two spot-on albums in a row, the debut For All Tid and sophomore Stormblast, everyone’s second-favorite “true” Norwegian symphonic black metal band decided that it was time to showcase that they too are capable of boring you to death, with the fecal-inspired Enthrone Darkness Triumphant. I would be lying if I said that I

Hvis Lyset Tar Oss – Black Metal

Having released two masterpieces of Norwegian black metal, the self titled debut and Det Som Engang Var, Burzum would have still gone down in history as one of the most important bands in the genre had Varg Vikernes stopped there. However, instead of doing that, he went ahead and – whilst not busy stabbing Euronymous